Date: 2009-11-29 12:52 pm (UTC)
classysleuth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] classysleuth
So my initial thoughts on this were fairly negative, then my thoughts latter were as well.

Positive would be if you’re working with the virgin mother complex does that mean Aeris gets to be Romlus and Sephy gets to be Remus. The Veld/Ifalna I’m assuming will be in the next segment is going to be far more intense than I would have thought and with how you’re working Lu into the mix the development afterwards will not be what I actual expected.

The idea of Lu and Iffy being a mirror is a fantastic idea with a lot of interesting potential that seemed crammed in here. Firstly, would be the bad mother concept. Last section Iffy certain didn’t see anything wrong in ditching her family without a reason or goodbye in the keepings of a sort of friend to go off and play prince charming for…an ex pretty much as the original Lu/Iffy story in this arc were intended as mildly slash. While her thoughts say she’s doing all this to deal with Jenova her action certainly seems to be saying otherwise.

So last story you leave us with Iffy being an awful mother and an awful lover and if she were a guy the either situation would be getting more negative treatment and then in this story she pulls the whole bad mother out of the blue to guilt Lu if anything. As she has absolutely no idea if Lu was a bad mother, as it hasn’t been discussed at all in this or any of the other stories in the arc. For all we know Lu purely had Sephiroth for the sake of science so she wasn’t ever his mother and if she wants to be know it is because she’s been rotting in a cave for years with nothing else to think about. That isn’t even getting into how it was likely Hojo who locked her in the cave in the first place if her situation is even vague similar to Vincent’s.

Then, of course, there is the whole Lu should want to see her husband. Her husband, who she was having a falling out with when last Iffy saw her, who killed Vincent, experimented on him, who kill professor Gast, who would have tortured Iffy to death had Veld not innerved, and who was going to do the same to her daughter. It seems rather insane Iffy would be thinking about him at all even if Lu was wishing to see him again.

What you have with the mirror concept is Lu was a bad wife and lover, while Iffy is a bad mother and lover. Because we don’t at all know if Iffy was a bad wife and from what has been mentioned so far she certainly doesn’t sound like one and as I stated before there is no indication so far Lu was a bad mother. So the bad mother concept seems fairly out of the blue given what you’ve given us so far.

What I guess I’m say here is that you have an awesome concept that wasn’t expounded on when it really should have and you left the last story with lots of problems that weren’t particularly addressed in this one.

While I understand you’re likely building up to a huge conflict between Veld and Iffy that will deal with the true issues and control issues between them. You just make one of the other seem bad in this particular serial as opposed to how you handle the situation in your other works with the notable expectations of Fairy Tales and Tall Tale. This could be because in the other stuff I traditional say well Veld is a villain that is what they do but for this you've sort of left me wondering on both parts.

Also, as I believe I’ve stated before pretty young nymphs taking up roots conjures up some terrible imagery. I personally don’t care for the how Iffy has to settle down because that’s what Veld’s fantasy woman would do but the inclusion of the rape imagery I could you know do without.

So yeah, a filler story were there was lots of potential for a full story.
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